It always seems like just when I can finally say, "Being a mom is good", Hannalee has to prove me wrong. Two Fridays ago Hannalee caught a cold. It turned into a nasty cough. I can't blame her for getting sick and feeling miserable. For the most part I felt bad for her and did want to comfort her. But she is not a pleasant child to be around when she is sick. Many other people say that when their kids get sick they want to be held, snuggled, and watch movies. This is not a description of Hannalee. She doesn't want to be snuggled, unless it is 2:00 am, and she still does not want to sit still. She goes around the house whining, crying, and screaming until I loose my patience. At this point we are both whining, crying, and screaming.
To make our moods even more sour, the weather last week was terrible. It never actually rained, but the clouds looked dark and gloomy. The wind blew so furiously one day, that I thought our house was going to blow down. And the temperature was cold. So we could not escape outside to lift our spirits.
So each day I was stuck in the house for 12 hours alone with a very irritable baby. I will now confess that I was not a good mom at all. I tried to entertain her, but after 20 minutes of playing 10 different things because she has a 30 second attention span, I was frustrated. I just wanted to sit down and read my book, "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" (which is so very interesting).
I will admit that I let Hannalee cry for longer than she should have after she woke up from a 20 minute nap.
I will admit that at one point instead of paying attention to Hannalee, I walked around the house aimlessly letting Hannalee follow me whining because I just didn't want to deal with her.
I will admit that I turned on the water in the bathroom, pushed up her stool up to the counter, and let her splash water everywhere so she would stop whining for a few minutes.
I will admit that I shut Hannalee in her room so I could take a 30 min. shower depleting all of our hot water. And when she started banging on the door I told her to go away. (Hannalee's bedroom is the mater bedroom, because it is the smaller room of the two downstairs. So the door to get to our shower is in her room.)
I will admit that after the fifth time of getting up with Hannalee during the night, I lay in bed letting her cry, "pretending" not to hear her in hopes that Bob would get up with her. (And the sweet man that he is, did, even though he has to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to work. I love my husband!)
I will admit that when Bob came home at night I shouldered all of the child caring duties on him. (And again being the great father that he is, he gave Hannalee the patience that I was not giving her.)
I will admit that I gladly choose cleaning the kitchen, getting wood and coal, or putting away the dog in the rain over playing with the baby.
The list goes on, but I'm too ashamed to add any more. I am sorry that Hannalee doesn't have a more patient mom and thankful she has a great dad to make up for it. But I love my little girl more than I can even describe. She is my life and my soul. I love, love, love her and am grateful that I can call her mine.
Hannalee, I promise to work harder and be better. Know that I always love you even though I am not perfect. I'm glad you are feeling better.
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4 comments:
I'm pretty sure that I could have written this blog. Gracie still has that nasty cold/cough - which I also got and suffered along with her. The only thing worse about taking care of a sick baby, is when you are also sick. Luckily we are on the mend (last night, she slept the entire night!). You are not alone! - How are you liking that book? I read that for my book club 2 months ago and I loved it. It was so interesting!
You are SOOOO not alone! I think we have ALL had days like that. I've heard that book is good too.. My SIL loved it. I guess I should check it out.
I've never done any of those things :) I'm ALWAYS perfectly patient with my kids. HA, HA! That is an April Fool's Joke of the year! I keep thinking when I get frustrated with my day I should do push-ups, but I would have biceps bigger than my head and none of my shirts would fit, so sometimes I put myself in timeout and eat chocolate.
haha this posting was probably not meant to be funny, maybe just venting frustrations but it made me laugh because as I was reading I was just thinking of all the times I have felt that same exact way. Every mom has, right? Oh, and I'm reading that book right now! I'm a little over half way through. I am enjoying it. :) I'm sorry to hear Hannah has been sick. I hope she's better soon. I had a similar experience because Avril has had a cold, and then tripped and fell flat on her face on the asphalt and skinned her nose and lip. So now it hurts to wipe her nose. Its just awful. I feel your pain, trust me. Gotta love being a mama :)
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